An ode to my doddappa...

Lives and relationships are so important;and we realise it only in the absence of the loved ones.Though we are all aware of this fact,I acknowledged it only after my doddappa’s(my father’s elder bro) demise just day before yesterday.He was here with us on May 6th,to bless my mom and dad on their marriage anniversary,and after he reached bangalore safely on 8th may,on 10th may we heard this news.All of us were shattered and wrecked.It was a blow to all of us.The eldest brother among the 8 sibblings,he was known for humbleness,caring nature and sensitivity.Though he was our maxpa,his age equalled to that of grandfather.so we all shared a kind of grandpa relationship with him.
He was a widower,and has suffered the loneliness almost for 20 years.As long as he was alive he had a feeling that everybody didn’t care for him.He thought he was cornered and not recognized.And as a matter of fact,yes we did take him for granted-as all of us do with all our old people.His duties were over,and he actually didn’t have anything to do.Any advice that he gave us was for free,and all of us,including his sibblings and their children and their grandchildren thought themselves to be the intelligenstia.
I know am going too personal,but something deep within me is asking me to write .As long as my doddappa was alive,I never took the oppurtunity to tell him that I care for him ,love him and concerned about him.And today,I repent that I haven’t bid him a loving adieu.After his demise,hundreds of people turned up,to have a glance of him.His chilhood buddies,class mates,bank collegues,close relatives and distant cousins.All of them were crying ,yelling and shedding tears.But what is the use?He is not there to receive it.As long as he was alive,every day,he waited for phonecalls from his friends ,brothers’ children ,collegues.But none returned a call.All of them,were apparently busy.And today when he was lying on the death bed motionless,all of us realised how important he was for us,and how many lives he had changed.Unfortunately,the law of nature is we don’t realise a person’s presence until his absence.
And this made me cry all the more.My doddappa wanted to be recognised.He wanted to hear from others “seshu,we love you and thank u for what all you have done to us “ ; though people thought of him like that,they never opened up to say this.I feel ,this is not an exceptional case.It happens with every man,who is alive .Tell me ,how many of us talk to our grandparents and other elders for long hours with patience,and just let them know that we love them..we assume that they are acknowledging the fact.But this incident reminded me that,feeling love towards someone ,is not equal to telling them “I love you,or care for you”
So this day I decided,that I will cherish every moment that I am going to spend with my loved ones.I shall tell them that I love them and care for them.I will make them feel that they are important to me-my grand mom,my uncles,parents,cousins ,every one.
I don’t know ,if this is all related to you in anyway.But the reason am writing this is,I want all of you to read it.I think you too can reconcile and realise how lucky you are to have loving family,and friends around you.I thank God,that he had given me a great man,my doddappa called sheshagiri rao.Though I didn’t tell him how we all loved him,as long as he was alive,today..i open up and want to tell him.

My dearest doddappa,
I love you.we all love you and care for you.You were a great man.A man of resilience and patience.you changed so many lives,and had been their saviour.We shall,as long as we live will feel obliged to you.I could not say these words when you were here,but nevertheless I know somewhere deep within and far away you will be hearing my words.I love you doddappa,and I will miss you a lot.Thank you so much,for coming into our lives.thank you.


Your’s loving niece
Nandita.