He was sitting on the rest chair, lonely placed on the beach.
The dusk had long gone by..and the moon was just raising to reign the night. The night was windy....
As i walked to him..I saw him giggling at me , and as I neared, his giggle turned to a laughter...
"What are you laughing at?" I reproached defiantly...
"Nothing it's just about the way you put your face" he smilingly said
I had nothing , to say..and i just shrugged.
With my coming he gently got up, and we walked along the sands of the beach. The night was windy, and the rhytmic waves gave a music.He slowly began.."So my dear, what is that, upsetting you?".
" As though you are oblivious of everything happening around, father" I snapped
"I am sorry, I am trying to be serious. please tell me" He seemed to resist his smile beneath.
"Stop mocking at me father! I have a problem and you know that" I shot back, with my moist, swollen, red eyes
"Stop mocking at me father! I have a problem and you know that" I shot back, with my moist, swollen, red eyes
"oh my you are really sad!" he looked appalled.
Looking at my worn out face, he continued "ok let's get serious. I know you are sad at the way things are happening around you. But as I had told you earlier, you have to hold on"
" Hold on?My foot! Hold on to what? As i walk in the dark...and beg for an answer, beyond the moon you peep up and just smile.
when tears fill my eyes..and feel there is no one around, through the windy breeze you simply pass by.when i ask you again and again and again to tell me something..you simply walk away like a stranger"
"Don't you know that i do everything with a purpose dear?" he was calm and thoughtful now.
" Purpose father? " my voice was shivering. " you talk about purpose. of what use is that purpose, if i don't know why am being treated the way am being treated? what is the use of the purpose, if i don't know how is it gonna help me?"
"my dear...purpose is right there..and you are not looking at it"
i went to defend...but he stopped with the wave of his hand.
" You think i get fun, in making you all cry? My dearest, I don't. It's with great pain, that i see you suffering. Every problem , i give you has an intention. It is to make you better"
My fury was brimming out.."father." i sighed." In your name, for your sake , i beg, can you explain me, for what and why and how are we made better individuals? my problem is not about you giving me problems. my problem is for the unknown reason you give them to me or us"
He had to make his point..but i stopped "gimme a chance father"
" My school teacher in my 3rd class had given me 10/20 in a test. when i went in and asked the reason for such poor grade, she made me sit beside her and told me, that i had made 2 spelling mistakes in my first answer, 2
grammar mistakes in the second answer..a mistake here, there and one here."
He had a quiziccal expression on his face.
I continued " you see this father, She told me, why had i been given less marks. I thought i shall correct from there on, satisfied i left. But....when i ask you aloud "father why are you giving me this" you tell me nothing. nothing means nothing. And i grope in the dark for an answer, but of no avail"
All this while he was simply smiling. he slowly said "you will not understand even though i explain you child "
And that infuriated me.
"Alright, have it your way then." I sighed. "If thou are so determined to make me cry and lose over my confidence, then let me tell you something I shall not. I shall not allow myself to lose thy confidence. Let the stars turn off...let sky go dark..let the leaves wither away. I promise, to myself, that i shall stand by. You want to see, how i look when i cry? I am sorry, i shall not give you that chance.I love my life, and am not gonnna brood over it. I know i am strong and shall remain so."
Saying this, I furiously walked away. Tears trippled down my cheeks. But i hurried for the fear of he stopping me. But he seemed to be standing where he was. And I didn't look back.
Then , i heard him aloud saying " my dearest..!!"
I stopped, my back facing him.
"I bet, the classroom test could not have taught, what you just felt and spoke!"
I started to move without looking at him.
His anxious voice was heard again aloud "Don't go away like that dear. Remember, every word i say, you are never given a problem that you cannot solve. And know that I love you more than you love me"
This time i stopped and looked back.
He was 10 feet away from where i was standing. In the dim lit moon light I could see his serene face. He was smiling, the way he always did. He whispered...in his lowest voice...and the wind carried his words to me " See you tomorrow. I shall wait for you" He smiled and left.
8 comments:
So, I am still the first to comment on your blog? I consider that as my greatest honor :)
What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. _ You probably might have heard about this quote innumerable number of times. I am sure you will be the best gift ever to him.
Speaking about God, I just remember one another thing. Someone asked me, how do you make God laugh, and I answered, "I will just tell him the plans for my future" Well that will make him howl with laughter. Wont it??
Well, I am hoping and assuming you ve spoken about God as your father, and even if it is your father, they anyway tell us that our parents are Gods, so it does not make a much of a difference anyway :)
There is something I have noticed in you. Something, very different (nope.. not in a bad way) sometimes, when I pass through your desk, and you might be working (I like to think that way ;) ) and over a couple of times at the cafeteria. You do have that "pulling effect" which I see as the trait of every cancerian woman, I ve known. There is some force dragging people to you.
The proof: HE came to you. In my case, I d actually be waiting in a huge line for days, months and years to meet HIM. :)
The funny thing is, it is common with people, our best friends, parents or people who know us a bit to well. They know what went wrong, but will still put up an innocent face and ask what went wrong. I know how frustrating it can be!
One term I hate is holding on. I mean, how long can you hold on. If you keep holding on to something, what happens to other things you re supposed to do? Who will hold you, when you are holding on to something or someone else??
"If thou are so determined to make me cry and lose over my confidence, then let me tell you something I shall not. I shall not allow myself to lose thy confidence. Let the stars turn off...let sky go dark..let the leaves wither away. I promise, to myself, that i shall stand by. You want to see, how i look when i cry? I am sorry, i shall not give you that chance. I love my life, and am not gonnna brood over it. I know I am strong and shall remain so" - Awesome lines, my dear. Really awesome. These lines show the strength of your soul. I have seen one to many people in my life. You re someone who I know, stands out in the crowd. A celeb in the making (as you said earlier) I am so glad to have made your acquaintance. I hope we remain good friends for ever. There is so much I am discovering about you and learning from you.
Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A "you can do it" attitude when things are tough. You have all three in you and there is no stopping you from rising above the rest. Go win the world, princess!
My dad once told me, "When we can't piece together the puzzle of our own lives, remember the best view of a puzzle is from above. Let Him help put you together." When HE does that, I am sure yours will be the best!
Take care,
Cheers,
You Know Who ;)
a good writeup :)
The portrayal of 'better' half of chaotic soul ( I mean Universal soul ,what WAS defined to be 'God' ) was beautiful .
Apart from good writeup and coherence maintained , the essay lacks clarity ( as my thought goes ,which is purely subjective ).
If I am correct, the essay failed to strike a balance between Poetry and Reason ,which are essential phenomenon of 'self'
"my dear...purpose is right there..and you are not looking at it" , and " All this while he was simply smiling. he slowly said "you will not understand even though i explain you child " -
in your essay is too strong a statement which can be believed for eternity ( I mean ,for humans ,eternity is at most 100 years) but never can be realized by the faculties we possess as of now ( with a few exceptions , whose statements cannot be checked , as saints say , but can only be realized ) possess as of now
What if there is NO 'truth' (and hence all our concepts about purpose , meaning ,eternal nature of beauty ,and e.t.c ) but simply we tend to BELEIVE in its existence by habit ,habituated since God knows from when .Well , which provides comfort and happiness must be believed , is a thoroughly borrowed statement unquestioned.
I ask this , because after reading your essays ,it seems that you are an effective thinker .Mind you , I am no judge of your essay ,but want to voice my ideas as a mode of communication.
Finally I want to quote ( of course borrowed one ) by Albert camus : There is no truth , there are only truths .
Check out 'Ivan's' talk with his brother 'Alyosha' in the book
'The brothers Karamazov' by Fyodor Dostovskey . A totally realistic perception of God was portrayed.
If you want to read 'abstract' philosophy (as your quote says ) may I suggest 'The indian Philosophy' by S Radhakrishnan and 'Myth of Sisyhpus' by Camus .
Bye
I wudnt claim to rem all ur blogs....but yes this one had striked a chord with me...these are similar emotions that i go thru quite often...not that i got an answer but yes it did make me feel gud...
http://towardscontradiction.blogspot.com/
Any comments ?
sister is with good mind and writing nice writeups which i like so much. i wish her all the best in every moment of her life.
sister is with good mind and writing nice writeups which i like so much. i wish her all the best in every moment of her life. - vaishnavi
Wonderful. It makes me feel good that yes, I am not the only one who wished ready made answers / solutions to the problems.
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